How do you say goodbye ?

My goodbye to Oliver is what I will remember forever. I had to decide on letting him go or die a painful death. I remember standing alone and praying to God to let me take the most painful decision. Oliver was all I had at that moment. He was the only reason I was still holding on to a city I desperately wanted to be in.

But I could not be there forever, I had to return to CBE and he was not wanted in Coimbatore and he knew it. It was as if he knew the turmoil I was in. It was as if he was letting me out of my turmoil by taking himself out of my life. All those days when he was puking himself out he used to look at me apologetically for messing the house. These thoughts went through my head as I prayed for forgiveness for any wrong that I might have done to him. He enriched my life by being there. His unconditional love was what made me realize that money, looks and religion were all silly man made barriers in life. I asked the doctor for a few minutes to be alone with Oliver. The doctor knew my need. He had been the witness to our bonding for the last week. He left me alone and I hugged Oliver for five minutes and I knew he had to be put to sleep before he would go into a massive cardiac convulsion. I did not want to see him in pain and asked for the lethal injection. Oliver kept staring at me till his life went out. I can never forget that. A goodbye which almost killed me.
I thank God for being able to say Goodbye. Goodbye is a sad word. More so when you are not prepared to let go. Unsaid goodbyes are worse. You always cling on even when you know it is over.